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Showing posts with label History's Dumpster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label History's Dumpster. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Special Request: "The Ballad of A Gentle Laxative (The Doxidan Cowboy Commercial)" (1987)

 From the mailbag....


Hmmm...Not really knowledgeable about diamel, Rd. But when you mentioned the Doxidan Cowboy, you hit solid gold.

Everybody sing!:

When I’m irregular
Here’s what I do
I take Doxidan because it works
When I expect it to
Doxidan, gentle Doxidan, I get no surprises
I feel better in the morning
Sure as the sun rises
Doxidan, Doxidan
When nature needs a helpin’ hand
Get overnight relief with Doxidan
As sure as the sun rises.

The Doxidan Cowboy was a 30 second TV spot, circa 1987. And from the YouTube comments on this commercial, I'm starting to think if Doxidan's parent company had released this as a promo 45/cassette single with each package of Doxidan, it might have been played at weddings.

He's not quite George Strait. More like Don Williams in a porn 'stache. As smooth as, well, the effect of this product. But really, this should've won the CMA award that year.

Tragically, the Doxidan Cowboy remains anonymous. So it's unknown if he made any recordings of this jingle. Or has any albums. But here at History's Dumpster, he'll always be our Roy Rogers.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Fake Lionel Richie

This CD was from the Mount Vernon City Library (WA) and particularly strange because these recordings aren't even from Lionel Richie at all. The singer(s) don't even sound close to Lionel Richie. Or Diana Ross on "Endless Love".
It was released in 1993 not on Motown (Lionel Richie's home label during his '80s hit making streak), but on something called Starnice. That was the first warning sign, along with the crummy, non-descript packaging.

A Googling of Starnice reveals it to be a Hong Kong based label with other titles of presumably similar knock-off material of other acts. Regardless, the CD is a fake and not worth anyone's money unless you like really bad anonymous karaoke covers better than original hit recordings (which I'm presuming most of you don't.)

I'm also sure this wasn't intended for sale in the U.S. where recordings like this are illegal to sell unless they are marked as not the original performer on the packaging. This is how these recordings otherwise get sold in America, as worthless anonymous "tribute" albums. I can't believe there's an entire bastard subset of the music industry dedicated to this crap (I once broke off a budding relationship with someone over the fact that she bought a Glee CD - no joke.) But this disc is a flat out fraud. It promises Lionel Richie, but gives you not one, but two and possibly three, maybe even four schmucks with detectable Chinese accents.

This disc starts out with an anemic cover of "Say You Say Me", bungled up lyrics in "Hello" ("I've been alone with you inside my head".) It's just droning electronic keyboards and lame attempts at sounding like Lionel Richie.     

And since it is a cheap, chintzy knockoff, I've included it for your masochistic pleasure. But most of you probably would rather have a tax audit instead of hearing this garbage.

Enjoy (Or something.)   

CD Front/Inside V Card (Other side was blank)

CD Back
CD Label

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Kenner Kiddie Fondue


I know I've been a little late on the posts again. But I've been working on one that'll be worth the wait. (I hope.)

Maybe you got this for Christmas in 1974. It seemed to be pretty popular. But not much has ever been mentioned on it.


Kenner Kiddie Fondue was an insulated plastic pot with fondue made with special packages of artificially flavoured melting chocolate inside a three compartment tray and heated by hot water in the red pot. Kids can then dip the mini-marshmallows in it and it was all fun and as close as they could get to those Saturday evening parties their parents would have when they would all smoke funny cigarettes with their friends in the living room around the real fondue pot.

This was made by Kenner when it was owned by General Mills. They were seeing some kind of synergy between both sides of their food/toy portfolio. (The Easy Bake Oven was another Kenner product.)
It came in chocolate, vanilla and cherry flavoured chips, which you poured into a three compartment tray.

Also see: Pizza Hut Electric Baking Oven.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Suicidal Depression: An Open Confession


I've never came forward with this publicly beyond my inner circle of friends and a few family members. But the suicide of Robin Williams yesterday hit just a little too close to home.

And I have a confession to make; I suffer from chronic depression with suicidal tendencies with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and anxiety. (I also have Asperger's and Cogan's Syndrome.)

There. I've said it.

It's not easy to come clean with any kind of mental illness. It's like a gay person publicly coming out of the closet. You just don't know what to expect. Will people you've been very close to begin avoiding you? Will they try and overcompensate for any perceived wrongdoings on their part (which is just as disturbing as avoidance.)

Or will they begin to take advantage of you, mock you, condescend you and use what you are as a weapon against you? Or in more egregious cases, to take control of you?

Having lived with this since I was a teenager (although I remember having symptoms, including suicidal thoughts as young as 5), it's nothing you just "get over".

Everyone has problems. Everyone hurts. But most people bounce back and carry on. People with depression cannot do this without therapy, if at all. They live with a low self-esteem, and a constant feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness that cannot be overcome by personal achievements, success or popularity. For me, it's life behind two-way glass. You know others see something remarkable in you. But you don't. You just see a reflection of the same person you wished was never born.

Robin Williams is an example of this. He was one of the most successful, popular and beloved comedians in history. He had everything. He could do whatever he wanted. But he still couldn't do what most people take for granted and that's feel it within himself. Money can't buy that. And there's no magical "happy pill" for it. If there was, I'd be eating those things like popcorn.

I fought back tears all day today. Because I saw so much of myself in Robin. Because we both used a sense of humour and a happy-go-lucky personality to camouflage the real person underneath that thick veneer. We wanted to be understood, but afraid of what would happen if someone doesn't. Or even if they actually did.
 
I take several pills daily, including Wellbutrin, Risperdal and Zoloft. I also smoke marijuana to relieve acute feelings of depression. Pills and cannabis alone do nothing but control the brain chemical balances enough to where you can function at a certain level. And it's only a small part of the equation. It also takes therapy, friends, family and a routine to keep you focused and someone to talk to when it gets too much.   

For others, depression is so crippling that they cannot even leave their homes. And some rely on public assistance to get by.

You just don't understand humiliation until someone tells you to "Suck it up!" Or "You're faking it" or "You're lazy". Or "selfish", a "worry-wart" or any number of insensitive and thoughtless things. I have actually been told "If you want to die so bad, why don't you just kill yourself and rid the world of another useless idiot like you". I'm embarrassed to say it, but there are actually people like that in the world.

NOBODY wants to live this way. I never raised my hand in second grade and said "When I grow up, I want to have feelings of hopelessness and despair, to fight back thoughts of killing myself daily and to take pills every day to function at the most basic level of human existence."

Depression is not an alternative lifestyle. Depression is not a fun and easy lifestyle. It's the closest thing to hell in the human condition.

I wish I could say that the medications alone changed my life. That I could say that things suddenly got brighter and life was suddenly worth living, that I could smile genuinely and feel the same happiness I see in others. But I can't. Even with the best medication and therapy, I still have to carry on with a void and emptiness nothing could fill. It's like feeling like you don't have a soul. You know you have one, you have empathy and compassion for others. You feel their pain, but you just can't describe your own. And that's what makes depression so hard to talk to people about. You feel so guilty and ashamed for needing anyone's help. And nobody likes a whiner.

So you take it out in one of two ways - some do it internally through self destruction. Or externally by lashing out at others.

Or the third way; Get help. I took things out internally. Even if they weren't my fault.  And I'm just learning to unlearn that behaviour. But it's going to take time I'm 45 now and I'm sure that had I not gotten the help I did, I would not be here telling you this.

I still fight minute by minute with feelings of worthlessness. That nobody cares about me (In fact, I generally feel that most people hate me, that I am unworthy of the time of day from them, let alone their attention.) That I am not worth knowing or loving. And that everything would be better if I just didn't exist. Not a day goes by that I don't think of how much relief I would get from something that would suddenly end my life. And my pain.

It's hard to tell what is worse. The pain of dying or the pain of living. I have the worst of both worlds; The pain of living a dying life.

I have lived with this all my life. When I was 13, a family member went and dumped rocket fuel on a smoldering, but then containable fire with years of verbal and emotional abuse to the point I began attempting suicide in earnest (This is the source of my PTSD. And I have only spoken to this person only once and only through e-mail in the last 18 years.) I have been hospitalized many times from suicide attempts, several of them nearly successful, including a three week coma. Even psychiatry specialists were baffled  

But another day comes and the sun rises. I take my pills and put on that happy-go-lucky facade. I find something weird or memorable and I talk about it here. And there are days I simply can't do that at all. In part because I also have arthritis and my joints hurt constantly, but much of the time, I'm too sad to talk about anything. It's my brain chemistry roller coaster in action.

There are also times the sky clears up and I feel some mediocre level of peace. I cherish those moments more than anything else whatsoever. Because they are so rare. But suddenly, I'm back down the spiral and I'm contemplating suicide again. It's crazy, I know. But please bear with me. Because this is the only life I have ever known.

I pray everyday the next day will be the one I feel okay. Or the one that never comes. The day I never wake up. But here I am still.  For now.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep doing it. And is this my life? To give others what I can never feel inside? To put a smile on the faces of strangers when I can't smile at all or even feel the happiness that creates a sincere smile? Without being told to? It doesn't make sense.

Starting this blog is one of the ways I'm learning to cope with my depression. To create that "happy place" where I could escape without bringing everybody down. To touch on things we have forgotten or are unknown to others. I carried around most of this information for most of my life and here, I have an outlet to dump all that. As well as act as a distraction from the bad news of today with something positive. Or weird.

I don't like to talk about bad news here - especially about myself. But this is one of those rare moments I have to get a certain weight off my shoulders FTW.  

But every once in a while, I get a message like this and for a little while, I feel like there's new hope.


 It's hard for me to understand this effect I have on some people. I'm flattered by it but at the same time, confused by it. I never saw myself worthy of any kind of praise. I should be proud of myself. But I feel uncomfortable doing that. Who am I to wave my own flag? My denial sometimes gets to the point I actually think they are talking about someone else named Larry.

But in some small way, if I made someone's day in some small redundant way, I might have what it takes to carry on for the rest of the day. But I wake up again and I'm back at square one. Is this life worth carrying on? I feel like a time bomb.

But never forget this; Little things do mean a LOT to someone with depression. You can't fix depression. There is no cure for it and there's lot of trial and error to find the right treatment plan (the one I have is very limited in it's success. It keeps it barely under control, but not much else. At least I have that. Depression has different effects for different people and no two treatment plans are ever the same.)

Most of all, it takes very special people. Those with positively reinforcing energy (and it's not some special super-hero power. If you are anyone's friend, you already have it.)

I don't expect miracles. But I guess if I can't find internal happiness, I'll accept the next best thing, a momentary peace of mind. And just swing from limb to limb on those alone.

Maybe I will finally find a way to stop feeling like this. Maybe they will finally invent that "happy pill" that changes everything - if artificially. Or a brain surgery that removes the part that's hurting me.

I'll do anything. Just make it stop.

I know there are people who care and worry about me. People who would be devastated without me and tell me so. It is for those people I struggle to carry on for. 
 
I'm trying to carry on. That's all I can do. But sometimes, it is so hard.....

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Support Net Neutrality



Tell Chairman Wheeler: Don't help Verizon kill Net Neutrality. 

Net Neutrality is a principle that says that Internet users, not Internet service providers (ISPs), should be in control. It ensures that Internet service providers can’t speed up, slow down, or block web content based on its source, ownership, or destination.

Net Neutrality is dead for the time being – but the FCC could stand up to Verizon and AT&T and pass strong rules.

Instead, Wheeler's proposed rules would divide the Internet into fast lanes for wealthy corporations and slow lanes for the rest of us. Internet service providers (ISPs) would be allowed to relegate content to the slow lane unless the content provider paid up.

That means that the speed you could stream a video, for example, would not just depend on the kind of Internet plan you purchase from your ISP. It would also heavily depend upon whether the entity hosting the video paid for the express lane so that it didn’t take forever to download. Not only is this anti-consumer, allowing corporations to decide what kind of content you can access on the Internet is fundamentally anti-democratic.

Sign The Petition

One Frightening Chart Shows What You Might Pay For Internet Once Net Neutrality Is Gone

Amid protests, U.S. FCC proposes new 'net neutrality' rules

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/05/15/us-usa-internet-neutrality-idUSBREA4C0SF20140515

Write directly to the FCC and let them know the importance of net neutrality

http://www.fcc.gov/page/fcc-establishes-new-inbox-open-internet-comments

My fellow bloggers and I depend on net neutrality to keep our content going. You need it if you use social networking like Facebook, Twitter, Google, Pinterest, Instagram or others. Or enjoy streaming audio/video from Netflix, YouTube, Hulu, Pandora or other sources.

WE ALL make the content that makes the internet. Not the corporations or the wealthy few. If we lose net neutrality, only a handful of voices by comparison will be able to be heard and seen online. This is dangerous for both democracy and the medium by limiting the amount of information people can obtain by how much the content provider can pay to provide it. And inevitably even you to access it.

Save the internet!  

Friday, March 28, 2014

The Oso Landslide Disaster of 2014

I do not normally talk about tragedy on this blog. A fun pop culture nostalgia blog titled History's Dumpster really isn't an appropriate forum for that.   

On Saturday, March 22, 2014 at 10:37 a.m., a massive landslide devastated the tiny unincorporated village of Oso, Washington. With 26 confirmed dead and 90 still missing as of this writing.

Oso, Washington is located between the small towns of Arlington and Darrington on the north fork of the Stillaguamish River in north Snohomish County, near the Skagit County line in northwest Washington State. I've been through Oso several times and while the place looks very sparse (it's only retail is a tiny general store, with a lumber mill and some farms), it's population is near 200. Over half are missing or dead. And no picture can do this justice
What I do want to talk about is how you can help. The recovery effort needs your help. And so does Oso.

Here's how.


- Phone: 1-800-RED-CROSS (733-2767) Direct your donation to 'Snohomish County'

Or mail your donation to:

Red Cross Snohomish County 
2530 Lombard Avenue 
Everett, WA 98021

Thank you for your help.

  
   

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

"Vaping"


After 35 years of smoking cigarettes, I've finally kicked that habit.

I started "vaping", or puffing electronic, or e-cigarettes.

My reasons were simple. Regular cigarettes are insanely expensive, I never actually liked the taste or smell of tobacco myself - even after 35 years. Plus, having had two minor heart attacks, a near fatal bout with pneumonia and breathing problems, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have enough other health problems and if I can knock just one of my worst demons out, I'll have accomplished a LOT. I also had a lot of encouragement and support from those closest to me - some whom have begged me to quit for years.

And after nearly losing a close friend to esophageal cancer last year, that was the last straw.

But quitting was next to impossible for me. And in fact, I probably never would have even taken on the habit if my mom hadn't forced me to smoke a whole pack as punishment for catching me smoking. So parents, for God's sake, do NOT make that mistake with your own children if you catch them smoking.

I've tried the cold turkey approach, patches, gum, lollipops, everything. I heard about e-cigarettes, but I always thought they were too expensive and didn't do anything. And I knew nothing about them. But one of my friends said he was going e-cigarettes and I pretty much decided to join him. Another friend recommended Caterpillar Vapes, where she ordered her e-cigarette kit and she told me it was so good, she hasn't craved a regular cigarette since.

So I ordered. I hoped for the best, but expected the worst. At the rate I was going, I resigned to the idea I was going to die next to a pack of cigarettes.

And it not only lived up to my lowest expectations, it exceeded my highest. For the first time in 35 years, I do not have a pack of cigarettes and a lighter on or near me.

In other words, a fucking miracle has happened.  

E-cigarettes have a LOT of advantages. First, you're not smoking, but inhaling a water based vapour.

Regular cigarettes create smoke and odours and eventual discolouration of the walls, ceilings and furniture over a long time. This was brought home to me shortly after my mom died and I had to clean off the light fixture above her kitchen table where she smoked for 13 years. The smoke residue had discoloured once white elements of the fixture into a dull golden brown. And cleaning it was one of the grossest jobs I ever had to do. And it really makes me sad that my mom didn't live to see these. If she knew the difference e-cigarettes can make, she would have switched in a heartbeat.

E-cigarettes create vapour that looks like cigarette smoke, but it's actually a vapour that disappears quickly and does not linger because unlike tobacco, it contains no tar and discolouring oils. It's no different than a water based air diffuser. Or even ordinary cooking odours. The vapour and odour of an e-cigarette disappears in seconds.

If you're still smoking regular cigarettes, you REALLY owe it to yourself to make the switch to e-cigarettes. Not only is it VASTLY cheaper than smoking regular cigarettes (which now cost nearly $10 a pack in Washington State - you don't need to buy a pack a day, you don't even need lighters or matches. You just press a button on the battery of the e-cigarette and inhale. And there's a HUGE yearly savings in that.)

E-cigarette smokers don't leave butts, empty packs and ashes everywhere. They don't smell bad. And in rental housing where smoking bans are becoming more and more common, they are completely unnoticeable.

And my starter kit has already paid for itself in the first week of use.

Total $69.03....Same price as a week of cigarettes. With no mess, odour and hassles.
Best of all, you don't have to put up with the usual tobacco flavour. E-liquid flavours come in an INCREDIBLE variety. From Roasted Marshmallows to fresh fruit and drink flavours - I even found one that tasted like roasted hot dogs, although I don't think I'm that adventurous. But if you prefer a tobacco flavour, they have those too.

Nicotine levels of the e-liquids also vary, depending on the kind of cigarettes you smoked - there are also nicotine-free varieties.

I smoked full flavours, so the nicotine level in my e-liquid is 2.4. Medium is 1.8. Lights is 1.2 and Ultra-Lights is 0.6. My goal is to gradually lower my nicotine levels over five years to zero. And eventually put the e-cigarette kit away for good.

The benefit to me is it simulates the feel of smoking, without the tar, stink, ash and chemicals of regular cigarettes. As a writer, taking a drag is a necessary activity for me every paragraph or so. And there's no worrying about burning down the cigarette in the ashtray. Or having to smoke the whole cigarette outside and then come back and write. Which only increased my smoking of regular cigarettes.

How it works:

There are two main components to an eGo e-cigarette (my brand). I ordered this kit. Which contains two 900mAh batteries, which holds more than enough charge per day for my needs. There are also higher 1,100mAh batteries for heavier smokers and 650mAh batteries for lighter smokers. The gist with this kit is you can charge one while using the other.

There are four cartomizers. A cartomizer is what holds the e-liquid. You unscrew the mouthpiece and pour the e-liquid at a 45 degree angle at the sides, not at the hole in the center, which is the air hole which you inhale from with the mouthpiece on. The silica fibers of the coil head inside the cartomizer is what absorbs the e-liquid and when you press the battery button, it heats the cartomizer, creating the vapour. The coil heads have to be replaced every so often, so I bought 4 extra coil heads. The extra cartomizers also have coil heads and I have used the same cartomizer and coil head (and the same e-liquid type) for a week and a half and so far so good. You can also use the different cartomizers to hold different flavours of e-liquids for variety.  

This is a 30ml bottle of Tropical Joy flavoured e-liquid. And in a week and a half of use, this is how much I used. Did I mention this bottle cost $7.69? A pack of the cheapest cigarettes at my closest grocery cost $8.10 and is gone in a day. And I have a second 30ml bottle of tobacco flavoured e-liquid. (Your own use may vary.)

And now the flipside.....

E-cigarettes are a gray area in the health and public regulations. It's not smoking, but it's still not kosher to be vaping in mixed company. There's lots of concern whether it will lead kids to smoking actual cigarettes, but after 35 years of pack a day smoking, I absolutely do not see why. Cigarettes do not come in all these flavours. And there are nicotine free varieties you don't have to inhale, some non-smoking dieters use these to curb cravings for sweets.

But there are also social nannies and misinformed politicians who will try to make access to e-cigarettes and e-liquids difficult. If someone is under 18, I can see it. But for older smokers trying to quit or looking for a tar free alternative, it's crazy.

I think e-cigarettes are probably the best thing yet to help smokers kick the habit. And I'm already feeling the benefit. I breathe easier (although for the first few days, it took a while for my lungs to adjust), my mood was stable, I wasn't going crazy like I did without regular cigarettes. And now regular tobacco smoke is becoming irritating to me. But to create laws against e-cigarettes would increase tobacco usage again. And I want to stay on the course I'm on now.

And my friend was right. I haven't craved a regular cigarette since.

Monday, January 20, 2014

The Exciting Sounds Project & Retrophile Daily


Hey, I have some KILLER new blog links for ya you're sure to love if you enjoy the stuff you read here on History's Dumpster (and you're here, aren't you?)

The Exciting Sounds Project

Retrophile Daily

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year From History's Dumpster!



And now as we prepare to ring in 2014, I would like us to remember one man of whom it just hasn't been New Year's Eve without. Mr. Dick Clark.



Thank you all so much for a GREAT year!

Cheers!,

Larry

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

WHAT "War On Christmas"?


This "War on Christmas" hogwash is what it is. Hogwash.

The only ones declaring any kind of "war" on this holiday are in my opinion, those who have to nitpick over other people's beliefs to get others worked up and angry at a time we should be doing better things.

Let it go. It's the holiday season. Cheers!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I'm Back.....

My kitty Mr. Smokey Gato investigates the big new box/plaything in my living room this morning....
Tremendous thanks to my friend Justin Beaumonde for sending me a new replacement tower for my computer. Finally, I can get all these drafts finished and up!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

11/12/13

Hello Dumpster Divers,

I know I've been slacking. But my desktop computer, which I publish this blog from has totally crapped out on me last week. The motherboard is toast.

The Android app version of Blogger, which I'm writing this from isn't anywhere near as good as the regular desktop version. And I need the ability to upload graphics and videos to illustrate my topics as I go along as well as a REAL keyboard. My big clumsy fingers can't do the screen tapping thing for anything longer than a social media blurb and how I got this far is a new record for me.

Hopefully, I'll have a new computer in a week or two. So until then, History's Dumpster will be on temporary (hopefully) hiatus.

Larry

Saturday, August 03, 2013

Another Blog You Should Be Reading


If you love the strange and classic stuff you read about here in History's Dumpster. I have another treat for you: Superfluous Bloviations, an excellent blog by W. Lane Startin. You'll have lots of fun reading this. Just like I am tonight.
Cheers!,

Larry